AYD - March 11, 2013 - Be Bigger Than the Bear

"If you are bigger than the bear, the bear won't eat you."
- Atch L. ( former co-worker)

I recall I was preoccupied with one of many frustrating work elements, and just about into full stride on my way to complete melt down regarding my job as a whole.  The atmosphere was a thick cloud of negativity; mine and seemingly everyone around me.  Every day had become deja vu with no clarity enhancing rays of light breaking through.

And along come Atch down the hall.  A smart man, one of the greatest industry experienced I have ever worked with.  Normal height but larger than life personality.  The kind of guy, that when you find out which project you are being shipped off to, if you found out you were working with him, you instantly felt energized about being on the project. 

Middle of the day.  Nothing specific going on except stress in the hallways; every hallway.  And along comes Atch, just walking for himself with his arms straight up and high above his head.  He was not looking at me, just past me and off in the distance down the hall.  Then he caught my confused glance, made eye contact and just continued his pace.  Without me having to ask, he offered casually, "If you are bigger than the bear, the bear won't eat you."

And instantly, I got it.

Our working environment was truly stressful on everyone.  It was just that point in this particular project.
Lots going on, not alot of staff, people over tasked, and only so many hours in a day.  But with an unexpected, off the wall gesture... I found a way to pause, take a breath and stop the madness.  Long enough for me to sort out my thoughts and tasks and loose ends.  And it just kept running thru my head, "If you are bigger than the bear, the bear won't eat you."

I do not always remember this right when I need it, and often I confess I really need a step stool and be on my tippy toes to be bigger than the symbolic "bear", but these words and the way they entered my life have never really left me.

Be it work, be it cancer, be it choices and consequences, it is the same.  Be bigger than the bear.
Maybe it is bills, or loved ones, or you lost your way on route to your dream.  Be bigger than the bear.
Your job, your partner, or the meeting in five minutes.  Be bigger than the bear.

I think you get it.
Pay it Forward Week.
I offer you this on Opportunity Monday, "If you are bigger than the bear, the bear won't eat you."

Great morning, great day.  Great you, better day for everyone else.
Pierre Couturier
Husband, Daddy, Author... and Saddling up...to Ride My Bear.

AYD - March 8, 2013 - Do you see what I see?

Have you ever heard, "It's not what happens to you; it is how you respond to what happens." ? 
Maybe in some variation you have.  I know I have heard that comment in the last few years more and more as I travel my journey of Self Leadership and Self Awareness.

Sh*t happens.  Heard that one?

Is what it is.  This one?

When it all comes down to it, it took me some life experience, some self pity, some whining, then some soul searching and I dare say some repetition of all of the above,  before I started to see what I see.

"Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out."

I could trade a moment today, to dwell on a moment from yesterday that cannot be changed.
I could use the moment from yesterday, accept the shape of it for what it was, and set my marker of action from right now instead of the imaginary "What should have been".
I, and we, have options to see things in a better way.

There are things that happen, and once they are done, we may just have to alter the course of our plan to realign our navigation.

Did you have a tough week?  Okay.  You did.  You know it.  Now, where do we go from here.
Identify the issues, gather our thoughts, review that To Do list, set a new schedule, breathe, think calm and don't stare at your feet because to see where you need to be, you must look up and keep it in your sights.

Keep your eye, on the ball - not your chin on your chest and your shoulders sagging.

Back in school - when we got in trouble...we would have to write lines.
"I will not hit Cathy with spit balls in class.  I will not hit Cathy with spit balls in class."  and write that out 100 times.  The assumption was the message would set down roots due to the repetition and the idea that you would think hard about your actions with every repeated entry. ( If Cathy would have opened the spit ball, she would have seen a love note.  I did not marry Cathy.  She was not too bright.  See how things work out?)

I did not care then.  But, Now I see what I see.
So....start your day, with 10 deep, fully enriched breaths.  Deep in, full out.  And with each one, repeat after me... Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.

Challenge your day to be an exciting one.
Stay in the moment, and visualize how you will command any event. 
You may just preserve a moment and keep things on track to work out the way they were planned.

Great morning, great day.  Great you, good day for others.

Pierre Couturier
Husband, Daddy, Author.....and Blessed for how things have worked out.

AYD - March 7, 2013 - Think Before You Freak

"When it's after 2am, just go to sleep.  Because the decisions you make after 2am ... are the wrong decisions."
- Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

Obviously this little comment could be referring to many things we encounter after 2am.
Just think of a nite out when you were younger and more carefree, add a bar, some spirits and any number of life decisions present themselves.  And we were most likely not in the best decision making state.

Now fast forward to a more mature time.  You could be awake because of work, or you are responding to an email you just found from earlier in the day ( nope, no connection to me at all ... wink wink) ... or any number of stressors that is nagging at you at 2am.  Yes, even painting the baby's room...

Point - pick your battles, and more importantly pick the right time to state your case.  Take the time to make sure you have your thoughts collected, and you do not speak from a more irrational and emotional reaction state versus a more level headed one.  Consider your position carefully, and express it effectively.

It really is pretty basic.

So on that note, let us comment on one more situation where this applies. 
You DO NOT need the last two pieces of chocolate cream triple layer pie at 2am.  Wrong decision.

Get my drift?

Great morning, great day.  Great you, good for others.
Pierre Couturier
Husband, Daddy, Author... and I was sleeping at 2.

AYD - March 6, 2013 - Passionate Purpose

"If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion.  For your passion will lead you right into your purpose."
- Bishop T.D. Jakes

Sometimes the obvious eludes me.  I have an idea and then get so caught up in so many thoughts and I want to chase each one and then they span out like a spider web on the walls of thought and before you know it they cross and twist and each line has a ton of branches coming off and all of a sudden I have created a forest of Wants and Do and Dreams and Goals and I'm Gonna and Soon I Will and .... before I know it I have created a wonderful portrait of the Amazon Rain Forest and I cannot follow a single idea to a clear picture let alone a plan to get it there. What have I created?

So I look at the ball of yarn and my heart feels heavy for I feel all this desire to attack my purpose but my purpose seems to be so overwhelming.  And in this exhausted-'I don't know where to begin' moment, I see that I forgot to hold onto the one loose end of the whole thing - the passion that began my mind racing in the first place.  And often, it is here that we grab a piece of mixed up yarn, and we try to follow it in any direction just to find that beginning end piece.

Try your best to maintain a grip on the desire, the reason, the passionate identifier that ignited your fire.  Hold it in your thoughts, as your starter and the goal.

I realize I am referring to having Lost my purpose in the clutter, but it works the same if you are just trying to identify it in the first place like the Bishop was referring to.

We get distracted by all that is around us; especially despair.  Despair can often drain us of our emotional sight, our picture making ability that shows us the movie role we see ourselves playing in this wonderful life.  Despair can live in stress about money, work, family, goals, and.... hard to find my purpose.

Figure out your passion.  Figure out what causes the heartbeat to bounce.  Entertain the idea...the thought... what would you do if you could do THAT for a living?  If you could do that to earn money, or to be happy, and to make a difference.  Follow a different line of thought and consider it all possible.

Figure out your passion... and what you want to do with it... your Purpose will introduce itself to you.

Great morning, great day.  Great you, good day for others.

Pierre Couturier
Husband, Daddy, Author....and Purpose Explorer.